If you ever felt more sorry for Bollywood capers moulded out of Hollywood blockbusters, then you need to go and see this epic abroad a cruise ship called star Libra.  I wish they had liberated the poor audience from having to pay to watch this movie disaster, but then it was just as predictable as the sinking of titanic.
 
All this of course is only the icing on the cake as the fruit pie is made up of sizable helpings of the Ryan Gosling love epic-NOTEBOOK, this is of course directed or mixed by the man who last gave us the great OTHELLO version-OMKARA, and has himself given great acts like ZAKHM and APHARAN.
 
Here he appears in the famed role of an oldie trying to invoke memories of an old love in his dementing spouse, but that is no disaster compared to the artistic and commercial disaster of this sinking cruiser.
 
If you want to see some terribly bad re-shots of TITANIC with Ajay-Kajol dancing and skipping on this poorly copied replica of the famed ship, then please go and see this really chaste couple salsa to a bad version of an ENRIQUE IGLESIAS number, the fact they cannot salsa is matched only by the sheer stupidity of the dialogues.
 
The movie actually spends half its time on the ship with the 3 couples, Ajay Devgan the psychiatrist courting the cocktail waitress Kajol who looks like she forgot to wear her make-up in the hope she will look naturally tanned and ended up looking like an African mama, she plays the young sweetheart looking like 35 and is matched by a hard drinking, blubbering Devgan who tells her reassuringly that he is not gay, while fluttering his eyes like a eunuch.
 
She tells him in retort she cannot associate with her clients and after that is seen in every scene walking every walk-board on the ship where they can be seen for miles, they even sing and dance courtesy of the ships orchestra, of course its excused as Ajay Devgan is playing a world famed salsa dancer who won some competition in Atlanta, Georgia-oh please somebody-give me a break and wont MARTIN LUTHER KING be coming to the couple’s wedding himself.
 
This only happens as Ajay steals her diary from her cabin and gets to know she is salsa crazy, he is helped by Kajol’s friend Leena who is an English woman, other than that Leena cannot act or dance and keeps crying for no reason which made me think she had not been breast fed as she was acting like an infant.
 
After stealing the diary, Mr.Devgan gets a crash lesson from his best friend’s wife Natty, while the best friend goes on a nude tour of the ship with gay men eyeing his arse on the starboard.
The third couple is Divya Dutta as a gynaecologist with her quarrelling husband who delivers lines to put down her Indian hubby and his womanising ways by uttering-an Indian man is like a country mouse he is always looking for a hole in  the ground.
 
If this vulgar and senseless absurdity makes any sense, go and see the Devgan epic, as you

will shudder once they get off the cruiser as the narrative which is already a flashback becomes even more interesting as it becomes the shared feedback of 6 people, like a shared village bike itself-only thing is I will not go for a ride on this claptrap for free.  Who is telling whom which story is as good a guess, but I was so confused and complicated by this time by the Jenny ass, sorry genius of Devgan, I took my ass out of the theatre.
 
If you want to see and tell me the rest of the crap, I beg you to give me some tablets for a headache and a stomach ache too as I cannot digest raw copies of NOTEBOOK, TITANIC, OVER HER DEAD BODY and I am sure neither can others, as I saw loads of people walking out of this inspired master crap.
 
Mr.Devgan you will do us a great favour ,if you stop hassling your wife and let her act only with the KHANS, as for you I have not seen you in anything decent other then HALLA BOL recently and if you don’t correct yourself you will soon dry up with no cash in your kitty, which seems to be empty of any such thing as a brain and devoid of any decency or artistic talent as already demonstrated amply by this precious waste of techno colour and Agfa stock.
 
The best scene in the movie-as the community swims on the cruiser-the dancing specialist yawns and puts his arms up in the air-Mr. Devgan takes the camera right into his armpits to show us the amazing forest of Amazon, I actually heard people gasp in disgust-now if you want to see this-you are indeed welcome to the black charms of Kajol and the blonde dye so skilfully applied to Ajay Devgans hair do, and then people think Bollywood is not original are they not KRAZY? Indeed!
 
As for them, they will survive, but what about us the poor audience?
 
We need a sequel called HUM TUM AUR WOH where we can play serial killers, so we can take our frustration out on WOH.

 RATE: ONE STAR