Bengali Online Magazine : Maadhukari.com

What's this attitude, young lady !

A Parent's Guide to Teenage Behavior

Jonaki Singh

One day, after I returned from school, I slammed my backpack hard on the floor. I was grouchy and irritable. I did not want to talk to anyone! Right then, my mother entered the room and asked me with a hint of anxiety in her voice “What happened? Did somebody say something?” I just rolled my eyes and then tried to tell her a million times, rather loudly that nothing happened. When I say that to either of my parents, they just lose it. They get mad and say that they were just asking a simple question and that I could have said the same thing in a ‘sweet’ way. My mom often says to me ‘You were so much sweeter when you were a little girl. You have changed so much!” I stare in utter disbelief at their regretful statement.

What parents do not realize is that most little girls will listen to anything their parents say. They will wear a cute outfit for picture day, attend a special summer camp, dance for the school talent show, or enter a quiz contest just to please their parents. But, when the same kids grow into teenagers, they become more aware of their preferences. If parents ask a teenage girl to wear a cute dress for an event, an ugly scene will follow: “Mom! I cannot wear this stupid outfit! It’s social suicide!’

Teenagers often seem troublesome when parents try to ignore the fact that every teenager has an ‘attitude” – a unique blend of trains and habits that shapes their personality and behavior. Teenagers are like ants – crawling all over the place, totally absorbed in their usual routine of studying, partying gossiping and shopping. They often appear oblivious of everybody else, unless, of course, if you have just stepped into their anthill. Unlike ants, teenagers have different attitudes. which can be classified into three main groups : sweet teens, bratty teens and the gothic teens. A better knowledge of teenage attitudes might help all those frustrated parents out there who just do not know how to deal with their teenager.

Sweet teens are like a ‘dream come true’ for most parents. This rare attitude is found among teenagers who are very self-assured, optimistic and comfortable with their surroundings. These teenagers are good students and very active in community events such as neighborhood picnics, student council etc. They are also involved in several activities such as dancing, singing, writing and reading. These sweeties will be typically dressed in their usual jeans and a t-shirt advertising some make-believe beach resort. But they will have a little touch, something that makes them look a child, a hair ribbon, a nice necklace, or some other kind of unnecessary accessory that just screams, “My mom picked my outfit today!” This teen will be seen smiling, laughing, giving compliments, making jokes, and just loosening people up with their upbeat personality. A sweet teen will graciously accept even a list minute invitation to a party and show up like a waft of gentle, refreshing breeze.

Bratty teens are the ‘worst nightmare’ of their parents. The ‘bratty’ attitude is usually found in the so-called ‘popular’ teens, which are self-conscious, suspicious and conceited. They are average students, actively involved in sports such as volleyball, basketball and cheerleading. Their attire usually distinguishes them. Brats will be wearing short skirts, over –revealing shirts, and too much makeup, making them look like glittery ghosts. Bratty teens are the ones who have boyfriends; they talk about boys and always need mirrors to check on their makeup every two seconds. Brats usually have the most friend problems because of their spirit of competition – who is prettiest, who can get the most boyfriends in one month, and who is the best cheerleader etc. Whether you are pretty enough to be ‘popular’ is the basic requirement to belong in this group. At a party the majorities of teens are brats because they are free, and give off the image that they don’t care what other people say about them or their actions.

Most of the ‘bratty’ teens have a two-faced personality. Chelsea, a good friend of mine from elementary school was my mom’s favorite. My mom would always say “Oh, Chelsea is so sweet!” When Chelsea and I got o junior high, I told my mom that she was one of the popular teens, -- rude to people who were not popular like her. ‘Chelsea!? No she could never say that!” was my mom’s response. Chelsea was two-faced – a teen with

a split personality. At home they are rude – they never help out around the house and prefer to stay on instant Messenger or the phone, chatting endlessly. But thin their social group, they are known as the nicest person on earth. They are sweet, smart, and h helpful. The two-faced ‘Bratty’ teens offer two sides of the teenage spectrum. Therefore you never know who they really are!

Gothic teens or ‘Goths’ are commonly known, seem annoying to most parents. The appear self-willed, detached, and indifferent in their outlook. Mostly found among older teens, about 9^th or 10^th grade, the Goths dress in all black, which becomes a distinct part of their identity. Their skeleton necklaces, spiky bracelets and black fingernails can be uncomfortable to look at. Goths and A’s do not mix. Goths are the people who get C’s, do not pay attention in class, and the ones who do not show up in tutoring even when they should. Goths are the most passive group of teenagers. Their typical hobbies are just sitting around and listening to music, and talking about the new Good Charlotte CD, what happened on One Tree Hill the night before and other usual teenage topics. Goths only hang out with other Goths. They won’t even consider having friends outside their group. Goths never accept an invitation to a party unless it is within their group. They can sometimes try to recruit other teens into their carnival of ghosts, goblins and black!

No matter what their attitude, teenagers are sensitive and caring individuals, each one is unique in their own way! They face an enormous challenge. While confronting the overwhelming threat of peer pressure, teenagers still crave for their parents’ attention. Parents who appreciate, encourage and enlighten their teenager can hope to see a more adaptable teen with a positive attitude.

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